All my life I've been an insistent advocate to try harder. To never be content with who you are, if you have the potential to do better. I believe every person on the planet has the ability to do better. While preaching my ways of personal advancement, i lost sight of what it meant to really improve on yourself.
Improving on yourself not only means that you enhance the skills you already know, it means more than simply picking up a new hobby or interest with in the scope of your current life. Improving on yourself also means stepping out of yourself, and learning something you generally have no interest in. A personal example, I have a heavy interest in all things art, visual, performing, mixed media, ect. I have little to no interest in basically anything academic as far as math, science, reading. After loosing memory last week, it's apparent that I need new unfamiliar skills and mental tasks to work my brain. Not because I'm suddenly inclined to become a worldly scholar, but because I feel that my life could benefit from being more aware. Improving, and being aware of my weaknesses is the first step to bettering myself. I'm wonderful in many ways, but now I see how I can be even more fantastic.
Having failed my first math based bring game this morning, I can tell this isn't going to be particularly easy. That's what I wanted, right? A challenge, a new task and obstacle to work my brain? I picture my brain, pink, veins, blob like, with creeping areas of gray matter slowing appearing below the surface. Playing those simple games, I see my blob of a brain growing tiny legs, jumping over and, falling over track hurdles; just like I jumped and fell over real track hurdles in high school, when I was trying to join a sports team. Perfect example of another time I was on a quest to better myself.
I will admit, i was very distraught yesterday.
Felt very simply.
Felt very low about my mind.
After i got over feeling sorry for myself, and convinced myself that I'm not loosing it, i had a total change in life perspective. Suddenly i understood the gap between conventional intelligent people, and conventional art people. The gap exists because so few of us have the desire to explore the unfamiliar, for fear of failing.
The only thing holding you back, is yourself.
-Kattatonic
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