The Death of Mr. Fish

It's been about three weeks since I cooked by beloved beta fish Toki. I arrived at work to find his new tank heated to over 90 degrees. Toki hanging on to his dear fish life, propped up against the thermometer. I like to think that he could read the thermometer, that he knew it was 90-something, and that he wasn't going to give up until it reached 100.

After I dropped the temperature, he seemed to be recovering. For the next two weeks, he seemed to be making a come back from the fish fry. He was disabled, couldn't swim well, and often drifted vertically, but still retained his personality. I was accepting of having a disabled fish.

The third Monday came, and i noticed him starting to weaken.
The third Tuesday came, and he could not swim up to get food.
The third Wednesday came, and he was laying sideways at the bottom of the tank.

I tried to scoop him up, i thought it was time.
Then he swam away from me. I can't flush him if he's living.
But what if he was suffering?
Did he want to hang on?

I made the decision to move him into fish hospice. A smaller bowl with water from his tank, so he had a better chance at eating, and no longer had to fight the flow of the water filter. He lied down sideways at the bottom of the hospice bowl, i hoped he would find the light soon, but had heard stories of fish doing this for months. Hanging on, but barely alive.

The third Thursday came, St. Patrick's Day, and Toki had passed during the night.
His eyes dark, they looked closed, even though fish don't have eyelids. I picked up the hospice bowl and walked him downstairs where i Snap Chatted his funeral.

I've been looking for the lesson in this experience. Maybe it was just to familiarize myself with death as an adult. I took many steps to improve the life of my fishy friend. He started out in a 1 gallon bowl, with no filter and no heat. I did extensive research online learning to properly care for the beta fish. I had moved him into a new two gallon tank, complete with filter and heater. He was thriving.

I was so proud when he began to change colors. I had read about it online, but my fish was living in such poor conditions previously, he had always been a dull blue. After switching tanks he began to gain more personality, and his fins and head with subtlety highlighted with deep red.

The death of Toki was a heater that malfunctioned.  I bought a heater special made for beta fish. It wad a beta heating pad, to be covered with gravel. It worked fine the first few days, then cooked my fish to near death. You can imagine how terrible i felt. He had come so far.

Toki the fish will be missed. I sit at my desk staring at an empty tank. I will move on, and welcome a new fish into my life, but for the rest of this week i will fondly remember my aquatic companion.

Rest in Peace Toki